Ever wonder why things happen at the worst times? It may be an inconvience but I tend to think that everything happens for a reason. Well a light bulb went off in my head and I came to realize that things are really not what they seem. Are your friends really your friends or are they just there when it is a convience for one of you? Are promises meant to be broken? Can you really trust what someone else says?

Well I believe that reality has hit me. Maybe the hot was a little harder than I expected, but I got it all now. Or at least I would like to think that I understand it all. I have a few friends that I would consider “best friends” and the others are just there for some reason or another. Promises can be broken if and ONLY if it is a matter of life or death…and it better be DEATH. I think trust is something that either a person needs to have earned or they are given it right off of the bat and something needs to take place to ruin the almighty trust barrier.

I have dealt with many short comings and have gotten through them all. I have forgiven and I have lost trust, but I have NEVER broken a promise. My “friends” that I had years ago have now become my acquaintances. This is a very sad stepping stone in my life, but I have to face the truth. The times of eating coffee chip ice cream have come to an end. Reality has now taken over, not for the last time for sure.

Unfortunately over 4 years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and living with this disease has opened up a new chapter in my life. I refused at first to deal with all of the chaos, but I now am looking at it differently. I am no longer available for “convenience” friends nor am I available for any more stress that someone has to throw at me. I am ill and no one seems to care except for my FRIENDS.

I have chosen that this will be my last entry. I need to vent else where, I need to feel appreciated for me, not others around me. I am human too, I have feelings too, I am ME.

So good-bye and good luck to you all